I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
