I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize