Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
