I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize