yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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