I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
