At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
