At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Boobs are out for the taking
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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