Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Your penis caused this!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
