The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
