You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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