I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
