my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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