she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
