Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
