His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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