if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize