matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
