I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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