I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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