note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
