oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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