I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
