booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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