You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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