Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
