thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
