Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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