I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize