yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
