I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
