i think my mom watched the whole time
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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