Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
