Your tits are I can't wait for
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize