Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
