So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
