Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize