we're blogging at a bar
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
