we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize