In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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