in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
