Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
