This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
