I faked an abortion last night.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize