sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
