My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Mom said you looked used
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
