This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
