:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize