TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
try to milk me bitch
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