Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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