I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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