Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
