The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
