No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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