real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
