whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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