Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
