I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
