you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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