the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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