About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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