when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize