well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
